Apologies
by southern cross
Summary: There is pain and a car ride and finally a resolution. Laley.


Was clearing out my SD card and found this. Once upon a time I was obsessed with CMM and still think he belongs with Haley so I wrote this angsty piece which was inspired by his yum. Upon rereading this I have discovered that SM totally stole the meadow from this ficlet ;) . I own nothing and mean no harm. Oh, and insert this into the OTH timelime wherever you see fit.

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Haley didn't think it was possible to feel any more exhausted than she did right now. Brunch with assorted friends and family had been awkward. Tense, painful, and horrible were also appropriate adjectives.

When Lucas had suggested they go for a drive she had smiled and collapsed into the passenger seat.

"You okay?"

Lucas knew she wasn't, hell, he wasn't but the question rolled off his tongue as it did a million times a day lately.

"Of course," her voice belied the statement. He wasn't stupid. With ground teeth he looked over, eyes skimming her profile. Even with her eyes closed, and her body slumped into the seat, she looked tense.

"You sure?"

"Yes, Lucas. God," she snapped back. His care and concern meant a lot to her, it really did, but why couldn't they just drive.

"Fine," his terse reply drew her eyes open. Great, she'd hurt him too.

"I didn't mean to snap, Luke. I'm sorry," her placating words softened him, she saw the muscles in his jaw relax, but not nearly enough to earn her the smile she had been searching for all day. Oh, no he was well and truly upset. There was something weighing on him and she was too tired to sort it all out right now.

"Fine," his words snapped back at her fiercely. Well. Sitting up Haley turned towards him, the hostility catching her off guard.

Studying him, the familiar pout was in place, it rarely left his face these days, but the lines above his eyes were more pronounced. That meant he was thinking or angry or both.

"What's the matter with you?"

What should have been soft and concerned had come out terse and bitchy. A heartbeat past the words slipping past her lips she realized her mistake and opened her mouth to apologize.

She never got the chance.

"What could possibly be wrong?" his laughter was a cold thing.

What was wrong with him? That really was funny. The funniest thing he had heard in this whole fucked up week.

By degrees Haley felt her temperature rise, "If you have something to say _Lucas_ than say it."

He had plenty to say; only he would rather squeeze the life out of the steering wheel than share; typical Scott behavior.

"I just wanted to take a drive Haley." And that's all he had wanted after a shitty morning a quiet drive with his girl.

"Well I am so sorry I ruined that for you Lucas." Crossing her arms she stared out at the passing landscape. The air between them had grown frigid. Just a drive, for anyone else it would have been simple; but not for them.

What was ever easy for them?

Well she could make that easy for him.

"Pull over," unsnapping her seatbelt her door was nearly open before he could even throw her a startled, "What?"

"You heard me. I said pull over," she glared at him.

When he made no signs of stopping, choosing instead to reach for her, she jerked away from his touch.

"I swear to God Lucas, if you don't pull this car over right now I'm jumping out of it."

Realizing a second before she made good on her threat that she was serious Lucas managed to pull off asphalt in time for her feet to hit grass.

"Haley!"

His voice bounced off the slamming door and he was left to watch as she stomped towards the tree line.

"Shit," Out of the car he yelled across the hood of the car, "Haley stop!"

"Go on Lucas. Take your drive. I'll be fine."

Not caring where she went she headed into the woods. The woods were good. She liked the woods.

So stunned was Lucas that he didn't realize she had actually left him until he blinked and she wasn't there. She had left him. Left him.

"Haley!"

The cry, a plea, a beg, reached her but she didn't stop pushing deeper into the underbrush past branches and bushes. She wasn't even sure at this point why she was running, but her feet simply carried her forward.

"God, Haley stop." Insane was what this was. Where was she going? And why was she going without him? The question pushed him harder, faster to catch up with her.

How exactly had it come to this? Tears and leaves and just pain each breath she took hurt, each inhale tugged at the knot in her chest.

Pushing past a nasty tangle of branches the underbrush thinned, cleared enough until she was surrounding only by a ring of tall trees.

Why did it hurt so much to be with him? Why? Unable to keep running she just stopped.

Wrapping her arms around her waist she closed her eyes against the beauty of the clearing she had found. Not far, she could hear him. Him. Lucas.

Turning just as he pushed his way into her clearing she took a step back.

"Don't. Don't come any closer," her command was laced with fear and confusion.

What? Shocked he stopped. The pain cut through him swiftly and with deliberation. Fuck.

"Haley. Don't do this," ten steps separated them Lucas could have crossed the distance in five. He knew it, she knew it, but her words, broken and bleeding kept him still.

"Just stop Lucas. Stop," before she could formulate a defense, a thought the tears started.

"Hales, _Please_…"he hated seeing her cry, he always had.

She lifted her chin forcing herself to look at him.

Maybe this was inevitable; an effect to the cause that was the coupling of Haley James and Lucas Scott. Whatever the reason something had shattered in her and she didn't see how she could fix it.

"Lucas," the pain in him, in them was so big. God she just wanted it to stop.

"God, Lucas, why does it have to hurt so much?" although calmer, her voice still filled the air with frustration.

She couldn't look at him anymore, couldn't stand to see on his face what her words were causing.

Drying her cheeks with the cuff of his hoodie, she took a second; doing her best to rub out the tension around her eyes.

What could he say? Haley was upset and hurt and he didn't know how to make it better. Ever since they had gone 'public' with their relationship it had been one tense and painful conversation after the other.

"Hales," he fumbled but he had to keep going, had to say something to make things right again, "I don't know why we deserve to be happy when it makes so many people miserable."

Cautiously he took a step closer.

Haley stood in silence as he made his way over to her. Does any one person deserve happiness more than another? Tilting her hear upwards, finding him suddenly before her, her eyes searched his.

God how he loved her; he wouldn't couldn't lose her. Dropping to his knees his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

"I'm sorry that it hurts people we care about, but I love you Haley," his face was pressed into her, his words muffled but Haley could hear his words clearly enough. She could feel them. God what had she done.

"I can't lose you Haley. I'm not sorry for loving you. I'm not." At once everything was clear. God, she was stupid; so stupid.

At the touch of her hands on his scalp he flinched, tightening his grip on her, he was prepared to fight her if she tried to push him away.

"Luke…"with her thumbs, she drew his head back, finding and holding his eyes.

"Haley. Please." He put everything he had into those two words.

Looking at him now, heart laid, bare before her, she didn't feel any of the pain or guilt. Smoothing out lines that worried his handsome face, she smiled at him.

"I love you Lucas."

The look of relief on his face widened her smile. They had bent, but not broken, and she was not going to let that happen.

Pressing a kiss into her hip, he smiled as her body curled towards him for an awkward hug.

"No more apologies. No more tears. No more guilt. Do you hear me Lucas Scott?" voice strong now, determined, he nodded his understanding.

"When we get back things will be different." Lucas clung to her words and he clung to her.

Yes, things would be different.


End file.
